Embrace the Paradox

When my adoptive mom died, my dad told me “you’re pretty much raised now.” I was twelve. He stopped parenting at that moment. Just as well, I guess. I felt pretty grown up by that point anyway.

My sense of determination got me through some really hard shit. Perseverance became a means of survival from a very young age.

I learned that challenges would inevitably keep coming, but the way I handled them could make all the difference. This resolve proved to be a powerful tool for thriving—not just surviving. Seeking challenges became a way of life that led to success. Not surprisingly, it took me a while to realize that it was also holding me back. Most things in life are paradoxical.

I was obsessed by chasing down challenges and triumphing over obstacles. If life wasn’t hard, something was wrong. I didn’t value things that came easily and only felt satisfied when things were earned. This pattern wasn’t sustainable… or healthy. And I started to see it was standing in the way of my full potential. Why couldn’t both be true? What if I valued what fell into my lap AND the things that I had toiled for?

I started realizing that by needing to see things as extremes, I was missing all the beauty of the in-between. Instead of having to suffer as I worked hard, could I find a way to have deep commitment while also feeling a sense of ease and joy? Could I be mired in a challenging situation while also accepting that it was the means of transcending my perceived limits?

As a leadership coach, my calling is to help others see possibilities as they embrace their unique strengths, gain strength and confidence through the ability to hold varying perspectives, and fuel what they are meant to contribute to this world with clarity. Our evolution is a process that requires a commitment to courage, trust, curiosity, introspection, and dedicated play. This is a journey that we get to design; one where we can have greater impact and inspire others to be more. Once I learned that success that feels easy is just as powerful and impactful as success that feels hard, a whole new world opened up.

The ability to see and hold many realities at once, allows us to see limitless possibilities.